According to the definition of misogyny, it’s “the hatred or dislike of women or girls, manifested in sexual discrimination, denigration of women, violence against women, and sexual objectification of women”. Why am I talking about this? Because it’s come up recently in Eve, and even though it’s a touchy subject, I have opinions about it.
In real life I’m in favour of equality. We’re all equal in this world, we’re all human beings. Unfortunately, I’ve had some problems along the way with this belief; in particular, with members of minority groups that have something to gain from the benefits they get from being a minority.
I’ve had conversations with so-called ‘anti racists’ who say they want equality, but when I start talking about my beliefs in equality, that everyone should receive the same benefits or no one should receive them, then they start calling me racist because equality means taking benefits away from the minority to give to everyone. Apparently if I wasn’t racist, I would be supporting them to get more than the majority.
I also have this problem when I talk to feminists. I believe that all people should be treated equal, and while feminists say they agree with this, in practice they don’t. Consider this:
- we have gyms for everyone and gyms for women – but we can’t have men’s gyms
- we have clubs for everyone and clubs for women – but we can’t have men’s clubs
- we have rights for everyone and rights for women – but we can’t have men’s rights
And when I’m told that ‘things for everyone’ should be enough for men, I end up asking – if that’s the case, why isn’t it good enough for women? And that’s when things start getting ugly.
In today’s world, as soon as you start questioning the beliefs, attitudes or expectations of women, you’re suddenly labelled a misogynist. You’re allowed to question the actions of groups and organisations and men, but any questioning of a woman’s actions labels you as a hater of women.
Let’s refer back to the definition of misogyny – the hatred or dislike of women. So when did questioning a woman or disagreeing with her mean that you hate or dislike all women?
I know I’m generalising. Most of these accusations only come from feminists, not from all women. I understand that, and I understand that most women are not like feminist women. Many of these feminists are also extremely vocal, however, and their voices are heard far and wide, demanding to be heard and obeyed, while the voices of the majority remain silent because they don’t want to be tarnished negatively.
Recently, we had a female Prime Minister here in Australia, who began labelling members of the Opposition as misogynist because they opposed her. It was because of her gender, apparently, rather than the way the political system has worked for more than a hundred years…. So the media picked it up, as they’re wont to do, and we quickly had a national discussion around workplace water coolers based on ‘the new reality’ that if you didn’t support the female Prime Minister because she was a woman, then you obviously hated all women.
I had this confirmed when I tested it one day. The conversation came up, and I decided to say, “There’s no way I’m supporting her. Her government’s policies are stupid.” Raised eyebrows from the women in the discussion. One of them asked, as I thought they would, “Oh, so you’re a misogynist too?”
Now, just to put things in some perspective, I love women, as many of us men do. But as soon as I question a woman’s stance on certain issues instead of immediately supporting them – just like I would question a man – then feminist women (and feminist-sympathising men, too) label me as a man who hates all women. It’s just ridiculous.
It seems that the only way a man can avoid being labelled a misogynist today is if he supports women over men, never questions them, constantly praises them, gives them everything they want, and does his best to worship them and get others to worship them too. The woman can never do wrong, and if you say she can, then you obviously hate women.
And that brings me to the reason I’m writing this blog post.
Poetic Stanziel wrote a post called CCP Owes Us Nothing. In it he talks about the sense of entitlement that people have. But we all know he’s not just talking about people. He’s talking about a particular woman who inspired him to write his post.
Some people like to be more politically correct than me.
An Eve Online blogger / podcaster / player / community member decided to take extreme offence at a song being played during a CCP broadcast of the recent alliance tournament. The song, like many songs by black artists out there, used racist and sexist terms, and she decided to blame CCP for it.
Now, CCP didn’t create the song. It was a popular song amongst the community, and it was just one of many thousands of other songs with similar racist and sexist tones. This woman is black as well, and instead of accepting this as part of the reality we currently exist in (even if you disagree with it, it’s there), she decided to blame CCP for it and go on a campaign against them.
So CCP tried to do the right thing and apologised to her, and tried to give her gifts to appease her enraged anguish at the great offence done to her. But this woman, in her righteous indignation, decided to lash out even more and slander members of CCP’s staff with sexist and derogatory comments, so CCP took back their offers of peace and politely told her to go to hell.
This just fuelled more rampages from her and she decided to rage-quit, calling CCP racist, sexist and misogynist for not giving her what she wanted.
As a black feminist woman, she felt entitled to special treatment. She demanded it. And then when she didn’t get it, it was because everyone involved hated women. Including the entire Eve Online community, which she made clear when she said, “the Eve Online community is not a place where I am wanted or appreciated.”
She’s right. But only because of her intolerable behaviour. It’s not because she’s black, or because she’s a woman, but because she felt she had a sense of entitlement to get more than what she deserved.
I was going to say I’ve got no time for this kind of feminist stupidity, but then I’ve spent a lot of time writing this blog post, so maybe I have got time for it. Just not in the ways that feminists would want me to.
I support CCP’s actions here. I support common sense over stupidity, and I support the idea of not rewarding people for intolerable behaviour. She tried to label people as racist, sexist and misogynist in order to get what she wanted. What that was, I’m not really sure. And it backfired on her.
Feminism is great. But demands of entitlement due to race or gender is not. It’s racist and sexist to make demands based on your race or your gender, and I’m glad CCP refused to reward it.
UPDATE 26 July 2013:
What a fascinating response there’s been. A bunch of angry people here, and a riot on Reddit. If I was into ‘looting for tears’, today would be a good day. Hello to you all!
Here’s something else for you to think about, or enrage you, whatever you prefer. Instead of striving to be equal, many feminists and feminist sympathisers are striving to be victims, and to encourage more women to be victims. They’re shouting out to the world to save them from ‘the big bad man’, because they believe they’re weak, and they believe they’re special, and they believe they deserve special treatment.
Sounds like victim mentality to me, with an entire system in place to encourage it and reward it.
Now, if you want to be seen as a victim, keep going. Keep fighting to empower yourselves as victims. Keep fighting to have the world around you treat you as a victim. You will be exactly what you want to be.
Personally, I’d like to empower women to recognise that they’re not victims. They don’t need to see the world as being out to get them because they’re a woman. There are many, many women who get by in this world quite nicely, understanding that they’re an equal part of the society around them, appreciated and respected by everyone, men and women alike. It’s because they don’t see themselves as victims, and they don’t struggle to be seen as victims.
I refuse to treat women like victims. And I’m disappointed that so many men out there fall into the trap of treating women like victims too, by supporting ‘pity me, for I am a woman’ attitudes.