Jump clones and random thoughts

Guest Author: Sere O’Asis (who originally wrote this for Touring New Eden members, but I thought I’d put it in here – Black Claw)

So, you up and decided, for whatever reason, to join TOURS, a group the Boss likes to publicize as “space ninjas”. Personally, I hate the name, reminds me of little kids running around in their jammies (the ones with flying saucers on them) shouting “PEW PEW”.

Oh wait. Darn. That is kinda what we do around here…….

*clears throat*

So, ah, ahem, you’re here to learn about jump clones, either out of curiosity, or duty, or because a corpmate held a pixel railgun to your head… and… and, you want to know what they are.

Well, jump clones are (insert EVE Uni’s boring definition here), and are available to TOURS members due to the herculean efforts of a few brave corpmates who withstood hours upon hours of boring — and I do mean BORING (because I certainly wouldn’t do it) — mission running to provide the rest of us with the opportunity of having a really neato way of traveling around Eve. And, upon very special occasions, the means to make your local wardecers smash their beefy little fists against their pixel consoles, and spout (sometimes in local, too) very, very colorful, culturally specific and totally unprintable (because we are a family-friendly corp) phrases that will put a smile on your face and a laugh in your heart.

So what do I mean by all that?

Well, do you want to go from Providence direct to Amarr to check on your station trades almost instantaneously? Jump clones.

Do you want to travel from our super secret base back to your highsec university to buy that skillbook you just have to have right now? Jump clones.

Do you want to make those wardecers smash their beefy little fists onto their keyboards? Jump clones.

You see jump clones are, skipping the EVE Uni’s boring definition, a means of travel. That’s all — just a means of travel. You jump from one location in Eve to another location. An almost instantaneous means of travel.

So what practical uses can space ninjas put them to?

Well, super secret boltholes. Every TOURS pilot should have one secret location with a stash of ship(s) and tradable goods just in case things go pearshape. (Does that translate from American English into anybody else’s English?) Yes, pearshape. When things go so far downhill they’re splashing up the other side, you’ll have an out. A means of escape and setting up a new life somewhere in Eve, where even if wardecers do decide to find you, it will be too much trouble to pod you.

Every TOURS pilot should have a jump clone at a University station so you can buy those pesky skillbooks, or whatever else that only universities offer.

Every TOURS pilot should have a jump clone, and a stash of ship(s) at whatever location the Boss recommends. (This will be to facilitate an exodus in case of war activities, i.e. we have to run like bunnies—see the aforementioned pearshape scenario.)

That leaves you with two spare clones to stash where you like — or 7, if you’re really paranoid and go whole hog on the opportunity.

You see you can have up to 5 clones, after studying Informorph Psychology, and up to 10 if you hog it and study…wait…drumroll, please…ADVANCED Informorph Psychology.

Now, this being Eve, there is a downside to clone jumping. You can only do it once every 24 hours, or an hour less per level if you study Informorph Synchronizing.

So, that’s it. That’s why jump clones are important to every TOURS member. They provide us a way to “get the hell out of Dodge”, if necessary, without the bother of piloting a ship to our destination. They provide us with an easier way of traveling vast distances within Eve with a little planning. And they provide us with a way of driving wardecers absolutely crazy, upon very, very special occasions.

You see, you show up in local. Wardecers can run locator agents and find you anywhere. You can’t hide from locator agents. And, if you get station camped, and those beefy little ‘decers taunt you in local, waving their mighty little fists, calling you bad names, well… let ‘em. Let them sit outside the station, boring themselves silly trying to goad you into undocking; and when you’ve had all the fun you want at their expense? Jump clones.

Leave ‘em in the pixel dust.

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  • Kerova

    Sere, in case you read this: Do you have a blog? – if so, please share the link. If you don’t – I think it would make for some great reading (if you have the time that is).
    – Motoko
    (Kerova)

    • http://eveblogs.net/tours/ Black Claw

      I’m trying to get her to start her own blog. No luck yet though :/

  • http://kilpatrick.co.uk/ JontyKilpatrick

    Brilliant! I’ll line up training 🙂